Making Lemonade!

Whats that old saying? When life hands you lemons, make lemonade? Well that is exactly what I have been doing around here! I normally don't like to blog about complaints in my life but my sister and some friends recommended that I blog about this because THEY find it hysterical!

On Sunday, March 14th, Remie left for 2 weeks for training. I didn't want him to leave but I thought that the worst that would happen would be that I missed him. Boy was I wrong. Here are the events of the 2 weeks.

Monday 3/15:
It's was a beautiful day outside so I decided to take the kids to Partridge Creek to play. When we returned home I found that my dog, Darla, ate 2 lbs of grapes. Darla is normally a wonderful dog but she does stress out and misbehave when Remie is gone. After finding that Darla ate the grapes, I immediately called the vet because I remembered that my neighbor's dog died from eating grapes. The vet said that I was right and that grapes are extremely toxic to dogs. I brought Darla to the vet immediately where they hospitalized her and kept her on IV fluids throughout the day. They were hoping to flush the toxins from her kidneys before it did any damage.

That evening, Remie woke up with an unexplained ITCHY rash. Normally when he has an allergic reaction he is covered in hives and slightly itchy. That was not the case this time. He was so covered in itchy hives that I had to hold his hands from scratching himself while the benedryl kicked in so he could fall back asleep Needless to say, I was up all night with an itchy, crabby kid!

Tuesday 3/16
Today we were supposed to go to the zoo but because of Remie's allergic reaction (and my lack of sleep) I decided to skip the zoo and take him to the doctor. The doctor couldn't explain his rash he just wanted me to make an appointment with the allergist to see if Remie is allergic to something that we are unaware of.

That evening I had to take Darla back to the vet to get blood work done to determine if she had any kidney damage. While in the waiting room, Darla was so scared that she climbed her 80lb butt on my lap. I had to remind her that she weighs only a little less than me and that this sitting arrangement was not going to work. As I am sitting there chatting with the receptionist, my cleaver grape eating dog Darla figures out how to open the front door of the office and escapes! She still had her leash on which was attached to my wrist so as she attempted to flee the office, my body gets flung into the glass door. I finally composed myself, got the door open and dragged Darla back inside. Once back in the office, I hear the vet techs talking about the Rottweiler that was in the back getting it's nails trimmed. They said that they are going to have to sedate the dog because she is so aggressive that they cant trim her nails without her being out cold. I didn't think much of it until they brought her out to her owner. When the woman owner saw the dog she gasped and said "No, I can't control this dog, you have to wait for my husband!" The poor vet tech told her just to hold onto the leash while we waited for her husband because she had to take care of Darla. The Rottweiler sees me and decides I'm her friend! Now, I am not normally one to be afraid of dogs, I actually prefer dogs over people but this dog made me nervous. The dog lunges at me and the woman just drops the leash and lets the dog run over to me. She did not attempt to save me in the least. Once the dog got to me, the male owner walks in the door. He takes one look at the dog and me and says "Oh Beatrice, did you make a friend?" as I am screaming in my head "GET THIS DOG AWAY FROM ME!!!". So the idiot man leaves his dog in my care (or is it the other way around) and heads to the reception desk to pay the bill and make more appointments. I swear at this time I was sweating bullets! Finally the man is done, leaves with his beast and I walk away unharmed! phew!

Later that night, I try to sleep but poor Remie was screaming all night for Daddy. He missed him and for some reason didn't want to sleep or let me sleep.

Wednesday 3/16
Today I decide that it's going to be a good day regardless of the events of the past few days. I take the kids to the zoo and we had a great time!

When we came home, the vet called and said that Darla was all clear! No kidney damage for her! Phew!

Unfortunately, after the good call from the vet, I received a very sad call from my mom. She explained to me that a friend of the family's daughter died suddenly that morning. She was only 40 years old and left behind a husband and three small kids. It appears that she had a seizure and the EMS couldn't revive her and she passed away.

So then we go to my in laws house for dinner. My mother in law made a delicious corned beef and cabbage dinner to celebrate St Patrick's day. It was great! When we came home, I found that Darla had eaten 7 bananas. She ate the enitre banana, peel and all! Once again, I made a call to the vet. He said that bananas are fine for dogs to eat so she will survive. I told him that the only way Darla was going to survive was if I didn't kill her myself.

Also, I noticed when we were getting ready for bed that Charlotte has green boogers coming out of her eye! Not a good sign so I decided to take her to the doctor in the morning if her eye wasnt better.

Thursday 3/17
Last night Charlotte was up all night crying. This is unlike her. Charlotte loves her sleep and would sleep through an atomic bomb if one went off.

When we "woke" in the morning, Charlotte's eyes were crusted shut so I called the doctor. The receptionist laughed that I would be coming in twice in one week! I asked her if they had a frequent flier card, buy 10 visits get the 11th free? She thought I was hysterical, I thought my life was pathetic! Fast forward a few hours, we are finally at the doctor and he says that Charlotte has an eye infection and to top it off she has a double ear infection! Poor baby, I take yet another sick child home.

Saturday 3/19
My parents came to town for the friends funeral. I was ectatic to see them! Finally some adult communication that is with someone other than a pediatrician or vet!

While my parents are at the funeral visitation, Charlotte starts vomitting all over everything! She vomited 8 times in 2 hours. Poor thing wasn't even keeping down pedialite! One time, Charlotte was looking at me when she threw up and some of it landed in my mouth! UGH! Completely DISGUISTING! Needless to say, we all took a few baths that day!

Sunday 3/20
All is going good. Charlotte stopped up-chucking and now has explosive diarhea! Every time she poops its like a volcanic eruption in her diaper! Fun times!

Monday 3/21
I wake at 2am with terrible stomach pains. I roll around and around until I too start vomiting all over! It's no fun to vomit when you are by yourself and there's no one to feel bad for you so I texted Remie to tell him what was going on. Surprisingly, he texted me right back! Remie was also up all night vomitting! I felt better that someone else was just as misreable as I was.

I finally get up in the morning and drag myself to the kids rooms. I was so weak that I could barely get the kids out of bed. Thankfully Remie David was in a good mood because he was able to get himself dressed and retrieved Charlotte's clothes and a diaper so I could change her while I was lying on the ground. I call my mom and tell her that I need her ASAP! She says that my dad was up all night throwing up too! Oh just great! She says she'll be to my house as soon as she can pull dad away from the toliet. While we wait, the kids and I go downstairs. Remie is hungry and I ask him if he can wait until Grandma gets here so she can make him breakfast. He says no so I allow him to go into the snack cupboard and pick out something to hold him over until he can get a good breakfast. Of course, the intelligent 3 year that I have decides that Lorna Doone cookies are a good choice. Luckily for him, I didn't have enough energy to care. So I laid on the ground under the table while he enjoyed the cookies. It was taking forever for my parents to arrive and I couldn't figure out what the hold up was. Finally they arrive as my dad stumbles in the door and runs for the bathroom. My mom is furious because my dad wouldn't let her drive over here. He said that the rental car was in his name and he was the only one allowed to drive it. So instead, he drove, stopping every 5 feet to barf out the window! The rest of the day was a blur, my mom took care of all of us as my dad and I barfed and slept. Thank goodness for moms!

That night I noticed that the house was cool. I put my hand by the heat vent and found that cold air was coming out! Something wasn't right so I called the Consumers Repair man. They offered to send someone out right away but I was so exhausted that I told them it could wait until the morning.

Tuesday 3/21
I am still so incredibly sick that I call my in laws and see if they can take the kids for the day. Thankfully, they were more than willing! Unfortunately, Charlotte started having explosive diahrea AGAIN and went through 3 outfits and 2 baths while she was there.

Finally the repair man shows up. He sees that I am sick as a dog and wont let me come near him. He checks out our furnace and says that there is a crack in our heat exchange and that we need a new furnace-something our appliance insurance doesnt cover! I hold it together until he leaves and then I just lose it! I start crying and saying that I cant deal with all this. I pull myself together and find someone to install the furnace at a reasonable price but he cant do it until Saturday! Ugh, now we have 3 days to sit in our house and FREEZE!

Wednesday 3/22
I have finally stopped vomitting and craping myself. However, now I have developed a golf ball sized sore in my throat! I decide that I am not going back to the doctor so I just deal with the increasing pain in my throat. As the day went on, my throat hurt so bad that I thought it might close on me and I would die in my sleep!

Thursday 3/24
I give up! I make an appointment with the doctor for the soft ball in my throat! On a good note, I see my favorite doctor in record time, I barely had to wait for him. He looks at my throat and says some fancy word. I look at him confused. He said that I have a throat infection! Just wonderful!

Friday 3/25
Remie comes home and all is right with the world again!