Today was NOT that day!

Most days I love being a mom. I will look at my children and think lovingly “Wow, these precious darlings are all mine!”  Today was not one of those days. Today was one of those trying days when you look at the clock and wonder when the mother of these misbehaving children will show up to retrieve her brats.

My day started at an incredibly early 6:30am by yelling at Remie and Charlotte to stop screwing around in their room and go back to sleep. I constantly reminded them that their father worked until 4am and was not pleased with the chaos going on in the room next to ours. In case you are unaware of our morning rules, here they are- if the kids wake early, they are allowed to leave their room to go potty and then must return to their beds to either try to get more sleep or they can quietly read. They have a clock in their room and they are well aware that they are not allowed to get up until 7:45am. Today it sounded like a group of monkeys was swinging from the ceiling of the kids’ room and I was not amused.

My day continued with a feverish child and a sassy kindergartener. I swear Remie’s goal today was to see how many times he could get spanked. At one point this morning I had a very proud “Mom of the year” moment where I instructed Remie that it was going to be a very looooong day if he continued acting like an asshole. Yes, I just called my kid an asshole. Nope, I’m not happy that I did it but it just illustrates my level of frustration at that time.  The day ended with countless spankings, loss of tv privileges, toys taken away and Remie even lost his bed time story because he wasn’t listening.

And finally, it was bedtime! I swear I heard angels singing!

I prayed with the kids, sang to them and tucked them into bed as a waltzed out of their room into a state of bliss because we all survived the day! I decided that I was going to pull out my best “doula aromatherapy” and draw myself a bath. The relaxing smells of lavender filled my bathroom as I sank into my tub trying to forget the day’s events.  I was just beginning to relax my tense muscles when WHAM the bathroom door slams open and in walks Charlotte. She flicks on the blinding light and says innocently “I just have to go potty”. I close my eyes and pretend that she is not in there so as not to ruin my precious zen bath time. Then she starts grunting. MY GOD THE GIRL IS POOPING!

My only prayer is that she is a fast pooper and can exit the bathroom as fast as she entered it. It was not the case. She grunted and grunted and grunted as I sunk further into the tub to shield my ears from the noise! And then the smell hit me! Holy cow, how in the world did her poop scent overpower the beautiful lavender that was in the tub? I held my breath and went under water. I prayed that it would just be over soon! I open my eyes to see that she has finished her deed and is about to trot off back to bed. As she goes to leave, something hits me! I never heard the toilet flush! I start panicking and yelling “FLUSH FLUSH FLUSH THE TOILET!!!” She laughs, turns around and flushes then dances off to bed. As I heard Charlotte’s bedroom door shut, I began laughing hysterically! I’m finally alone but in a luke warm tub that now smells like crap infused lavender! Only a mom would try to ignore the bare butt on the thrown next to the tub to get even one second of peace!

 

 

 

It may not have been the ending to my day that I had envisioned but I’m so glad that I was able to end it smiling and laughing about my silly children!