A few years ago, Remie had a very traumatic experience and
he hasn’t been able to get over it. I hoping my readers can give me some
insight on how to help him.
Rewind two years:
We were visiting my parents in North Carolina. My parents
have a lovely house that backs right up to the golf course. One evening we all
were on the golf course chatting with some of my parent’s neighbors when Remie
(then 3 1/2 yrs old) needed to go in the house to use the bathroom. I waddled my pregnant belly
behind him but he was able to walk much faster then I was. As he entered the
yard, I remembered that earlier I had seen a yellow jacket nest in the ground.
I tried to yell to him not to walk in the area of the hive right as Remie
stepped straight on it. What happened next was a complete blur. I remember
seeing swarms and swarms of bees all over my baby. There were so many of them
that I couldn’t even see his clothing. He was lying on the ground screaming as
he repeatedly got stung. My first instinct was to throw water on him so I
emptied my water bottle over his head. This did nothing to stop the attack so I
began swatting and wiping handfuls of these bastards off my kid. I must’ve
screamed for help because all of a sudden my dad grabbed a hold of Remie and ran
him into the house. It was like watching a horror movie seeing the swarm of
bees following them as they ran. My dad put Remie directly into the shower to
kill any of the remaining bees. Remie
was a trooper and once he calmed down we surveyed the damage. Poor little guy
got stung about 20 times. We gave him benedryl and sat with him praying that he
wasn’t allergic to bee stings. Later on he went to sleep and was fine.
Fast forward to today:
Remie (now 5 yrs old) still remembers the bee attack as if it was yesterday.
Last year he had a normal fear of bees but it wasn’t anything too concerning.
This year has been a completely different story. My poor son is scared to death
of any flying insect. If he sees even an innocent fly he freaks out and will
not go back outside. He is constantly on the lookout for any insect that might
sting him. Just a few days ago we were outside playing in the yard, Remie was
playing fireman with the garden hose when I noticed that Isaac had pooped. I
yelled to Remie that I would be inside for a minute to change Isaac. When I
came back outside I couldn’t find Remie. My heart started racing and then I
heard sobbing. I found Remie in a fetal position underneath our patio table. I
asked him what had happened and he said some bees flew by him and he got
scared. This is when I knew that the bee event from a few years ago really traumatized
the poor kid.
So now what do we do? We have tried talking to him about
what happened and telling him that he has no reason to think something like
that would happen again. We show Remie all different kinds of bugs, we hold
them or watch them closely to teach him that they are not going to hurt him. We’ve
tried to teach Remie about bees and that they won’t hurt him unless they get
scared. Nothing has helped. Every day his fear is getting increasingly worse.
Now, I need your help. What do I do for my guy?
3 comments:
Oh my. Poor Remie! When I was younger, I had a couple of bad run-ins with bees (not that bad though!), and I became terrified with them. My mom could not get me to go outside. Unfortunately, I am still scared of those stupid bugs, but time definitely made them easier to handle. If you don't want to wait to see if he outgrows it (and I wish I would have done something sooner), you could see about a little bit of CBT or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. In CBT, they would teach Remie how to recognize his fear, rationalize it and then change the way he thinks about bees. It's pretty cool and effective in my opinion. He is so young that it should be easy for him! Prayers for that sweet boy :(
Jenna had this fear too. We started out by being very empathetic with her. We let her run in the house, and then later talked about it. We took small steps never making her think she was silly for being scared or trying to pish posh it. After she a while we talked about staying outside and counting to 10 before going in.. then 20. One day I said to her.. you're doing so good let's try this. Bees hate onions. Keep this onion by you and when the bee smells it he will fly away.(unpeeled of course) I have no idea where I came up with that idea. Eventually all that worked. It takes time.
Now in her adult years, she scared again.. bring an onion outside with you Jenna.
Jenna had this fear too. We started out by being very empathetic with her. We let her run in the house, and then later talked about it. We took small steps never making her think she was silly for being scared or trying to pish posh it. After she a while we talked about staying outside and counting to 10 before going in.. then 20. One day I said to her.. you're doing so good let's try this. Bees hate onions. Keep this onion by you and when the bee smells it he will fly away.(unpeeled of course) I have no idea where I came up with that idea. Eventually all that worked. It takes time.
Now in her adult years, she scared again.. bring an onion outside with you Jenna.
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