A day in the life of Vicki

I opened my eyes this morning and the sun was shining and the birds were chirping. I looked at the clock and realized that I had about a half hour to myself before Remie David was going to be waking up! Perfect! I was going to have a peaceful shower and the ability to eat breakfast without someone begging for half of my food! What a great way to start the day!

I should’ve known that the perfect start to my day was not going to last long. Once Remie David woke up, we headed off to the post office to mail a package that was long overdue. I struggle to get into the post office while holding Remie (with his broken leg), the package and my over-stuffed purse. You would think that any decent citizen would hold the door for me but nope, the door was slammed right in my face as I tried to enter. I finally get in line and an older woman in front of me strikes up a conversation. She starts asking the normal questions about Remie such as his age and commenting on what a big boy he is. Then she asks me if he is walking yet. I explain that he is walking but he broke his leg and he is hesitant to walk in his cast so I am once again stuck carrying him everywhere. She says “Oh, did he break his leg at daycare?” I explained that he doesn’t go to daycare and wondered to myself why she felt the need to ask that. Then the woman rambles on and on about how Remie is a late walker and so her grandson. I tried to explain to her once again that he is walking; it’s just the cast on his leg that is making walking difficult for him. At that moment, the lady behind me in line decides to start rubbing my back and tells me “Don’t worry, the cast will be off soon”. I wanted to scream “Get your hands off me!” but I was able to contain my raging hormones by thinking that at least this stranger isn’t rubbing my belly like the rest of the crazy people in this world.

On the way home from the post office I spot a Tim Horton’s and decided to treat myself to the new chocolate brownie iced cappuccino. I figured that would help me get over the overly friendly women at the post office even though I really shouldn’t have that much caffeine.

We get home and it wasn’t quite time for lunch so I let Remie play outside for a little while. I let Darla out in the front yard with us so that she can enjoy the sun. We decide to go into the backyard and play so I pick up Remie in my right arm, my cappuccino in my right hand and try to type in the code to close the garage with my left hand. My lovely dog, Darla, repeatedly ran in and out of the garage, whizzing by the electronic safety laser so the garage door wouldn’t shut. Finally, I get the garage door shut and I look at my child who has his lips on my straw and is thoroughly enjoying my cappuccino! I yell “No!” as I realize what he is doing, imagining the amount of caffeine he ingested less than an hour before nap time!

We go into the backyard to play and hopefully burn off some caffeine. Everything is going well until I notice that Darla is playing in the middle of the muddy “pond” that is a result from removing our pool and two days of intense rainstorms! I chase after Darla to wipe the mud off of her before we go in for lunch. As I chase her, my son decides that he is going to play in the mud too! No problem, except that he is not supposed to get his cast wet! I realize what is going on and I decide that I’ve had enough of the outdoors and I take my muddy family inside. I strip Remie down, wash him up, wash the dog up and decide to open the windows! As I walk into my living room, I notice that there are pieces of my houseplants all over the floor. Then I notice that there is a big pile of dog throw up on my white carpeting! Just great, Darla has a dish full of food and she decides to taste my plants while I was gone! I go to get the carpet cleaner to clean up yet another mess! When I come back into the room, I find my freshly washed son playing in the dog barf! Gross! I grab him and wash him down once again! By this time I was about to cry but all I could do was laugh and shake my head thinking of what chaos my house will be in when I have 2 children!

Now it’s finally time for lunch! I decide that Easy Mac is the way to go because I was definitely not cooking something that took any thought. I open the top of the container to the Easy Mac and the macaroni and the powder stuff somehow fly out of my hand and go everywhere! UGH! I scoop what I can back into the container and cook it, hoping that any germs from the macaroni hitting the disgusting floor will be cooked off in the microwave. I sit Remie down in his highchair and he is eating the macaroni and vegetables without any complaint. Phew! Then out of the blue I start getting cramps! Oh, no, I think I am going to be sick! I throw some mac and cheese on Remie’s tray and I run to the bathroom. After a few minutes, I come out of the bathroom to find Remie covered in cheese and Darla with her front paws on the highchair enjoying Remie’s lunch with him! What the hell?! I yell at Darla and let Remie finish his meal. I clean him up AGAIN! How many times have I washed this kid today….I lost count! At last 1 o’clock comes and it is finally naptime! I pray over Remie that the caffeine has no ill effect on his little body, I lay him down and…….he went to sleep! Thank God!
What a busy day already, and it’s only 1pm! And Remie Sr wonders why I am so tired when he gets home at night!